GFE (Occupational Hazzard)

[css111]

Just wondering, if and when offering or receiving GFE has led to real feelings either mutual in development or one-sided leading to some awkwardness.

How do you safeguard against it or do you accept it as it comes?

I am sure that such situations can occur for non-GFE experiences but does GFE result in more such outcomes?

[isurfer]

Just wondering, if and when offering or receiving GFE has led to real feelings either mutual in development or one-sided leading to some awkwardness.

How do you safeguard against it or do you accept it as it comes?

I am sure that such situations can occur for non-GFE experiences but does GFE result in more such outcomes?

Some guys might not admit it, but they are looking for the mutual feeling which they never had, being close to a girl with give and take feelings of loving and caring for each other such as some virgins or near virgins never experienced. Being drunk at a party and not remembering much might have been just the act of sex losing your virginity, but not on an emotional level of feeling close to that person. Maybe at one time or many times some guys had a closeness in their lives and want that "loving" feeling that they lost (shit, a song title just popped into my head) and are hoping to find that feeling again in the brothels. It can happen, loving and caring for each other can build up over time, just as relationships can do in life outside the brothels. Yes, I think GFE parties can lead to closer feeling building up over time, real feelings and not just only an act from what I've seen. Some guys are able to control their emotions and actions, some can't even though they know better and been warned, and the extreme guys become almost like stalkers when it is more one sided. I think that every guy should fall in love and know what it feels like at least once in their lives, just not sure that the brothel is the best place to experience it first but it might be okay if he is able to move on to another girl outside of the brothels.

[FumbleNutts]

Anyone that says it cannot happen to them, or won't happen to them are fooling themselves, I believe. When your dealing with such an intimate thing as sex, how can you not have some type of feeling for that other person? I guess the questions become, how deep are these feelings and how do I handle the emotions? Hopefully, in this realm (LPIN), you're a realist and common sense kicks in. As Surf basically said, everyone should feel love in their life, and nothing wrong with knowing you still have that ability to care for another that deeply. Here, it's all about that control. If you can't, don't do it. Period!

Very good and real topic, css, that makes us be introspective.

[KittiMinx]

Anyone that says it cannot happen to them, or won't happen to them are fooling themselves, I believe. When your dealing with such an intimate thing as sex, how can you not have some type of feeling for that other person? I guess the questions become, how deep are these feelings and how do I handle the emotions? Hopefully, in this realm (LPIN), you're a realist and common sense kicks in. As Surf basically said, everyone should feel love in their life, and nothing wrong with knowing you still have that ability to care for another that deeply. Here, it's all about that control. If you can't, don't do it. Period!

Very good and real topic, css, that makes us be introspective.

Yes, it's perfectly okay and healthy to have feelings. It's all part of how intimacy works. It's biological - your brain releases hormones and endorphins that make you feel emotions and attachments when you're intimate with another person. Especially if you're attracted to them to begin with.

The thing is, it's how you act on your feelings that matters.  In LPIN us Ladies are sex workers. This is our job. Certainly there have been cases where a client fell for a Lady, the feeling was mutual, and they had a real relationship they took out of the brothel to their personal lives and it was healthy and fine. But for most Courtesans this is a job. We don't mind considering our clients friends - even close friends. But many of us have lives outside the brothels. Many courtesans are in real relationships in their personal lives. So realistically, it means they likely cannot have that kind of relationship with a client. Many Ladies keep their personal lives and LPIN lives separate. 

If you develop feelings for a Lady but can be respectful about it and understand that she has a life outside of you and the brothel world as well as her job as a sex worker and realize it likely won't be reciprocated and you're okay with that - you're fine.  But those who take it to extremes - accuse Ladies of leading them on, manipulating them, or they go so far as stalk Ladies in their personal lives and such. That's taking it too far and there's a problem there.  And it's things like that that cause Ladies to cut clients off, even if they're long time regulars who pay a lot of money.

[JGan]

I might be wrong about this, as I'm fairly new, but to me the whole point of a GFE party is to allow yourself to have feelings of intimacy and closeness. The danger in my view isn't in having feelings, but in not being able to determine fantasy from reality afterwards.

Still, I could definitely see how people might get attached. I think this is where honesty comes into play.

It might be scary to admit you have feelings, but if you don't admit it then no one can take action to fix things (or end them if need be). I'm fairly certain that none of the ladies or dudes want to hurt one another or lead each other on, and so I'd bet both sides would appreciate honesty up front. On the other hand, if two people do have strong mutual feelings, then they should probably have an honest discussion about how to proceed.

I think it's also important, should feelings not be reciprocated, that people remain objective. In the GFE scenario, it's part of the courtesan's job to make you feel special and cared for. She shouldn't be blamed if she happens to do her job too well. Thank her, give her a hug, and move on.
 

[RachelVarga]

When having sex and being close Oxytocin along with other hormones are released. If there is enough you will feel a connection. I am sure this happens to men. That's what an ATF is right. A girl you feel close to and comfortable with. You feel you have some connection with them. So it is fair to say that a guy can be too attached.


The real question you guys want to know is do we feel connections and can a girl get hooked on a guy. Okay so let's do it.


Could I get hooked on a guy? No. That is for personal reasons.


Do I feel a connection with anyone? The truth is yes. There are guys that I would party with over and over because I feel good when I am with them. They make me laugh, they make me feel good about myself, and I feel that I want them to come back.


This is a business built on fantasy and money but it still triggers real feelings that are very powerful. You have to be aware of your thoughts and not get feelings mixed up BUT sometimes you just let go for a little bit because it feels good to.


I'll answer this one even though it wasn't asked. Does the sex feel good or do we like it? It always feels good. I do like it. If I don't like then your doing something you aren't supposed to be doing.

[readytoparty]

If a client sticks to the idea of "friends with benefits" way of thinking then everything is OK with me.
BUT...
When a client sends multiple emails each and every day (regardless of where I am: home or Nevada) telling me about everywhere he goes, what roads he drove on, how the traffic was at the time, what he has eaten and where, what laundry he did and how he sorted it, what he had to have done to his car, about his grandkids, his sisters, going to church, when he left, how long he stayed, etc. etc. etc.  Along with I love you, I miss you, I need you by my side always, etc. etc. etc.

Get the picture?!

It is driving me CRAZY!!!

Sometimes I find myself thinking that I am just too nice...but, wait a minute, I am just being myself...I can't blame myself for this...or can I?!

I honestly just do not know what to do at this point!  I have repeatedly tried my best to kindly explain to him that I am not in love with him, that I would not be "happier" having him in my life full time, that I am not moving to another state to be with him, etc. etc. etc.  And yet the constant emails keep pouring in every single day...
And for those of you who may be wondering, no he is not a monger on this board.  And, NO, Rand McNally, it is NOT "Red"...LOL!

As I have had others in the past that made "pests" of themselves I have always managed somehow to get thru to them that I am not looking for a permanent relationship (2 so far that I have had to refuse to continue to do business with) but I just cannot seem to get thru to this most recent one.  I understand that he is older, alone and lonely, but I can't help that (as bad as that sounds).

[Rand McNally]

And for those of you who may be wondering, no he is not a monger on this board.  And, NO, Rand McNally, it is NOT "Red"...LOL!
.

I didn't think it would be Red, because you broke his heart--even if you did have to use a sledgehammer.

[MrTShirt]

It is simple, he likes you.  He wants to marry you, or at least have you in his life from now on.

You haven't done anything wrong.  Your job is to be nice to him, and every other customer that comes along, and the monger reports show you have done just that.

You could tell him that you are glad that he is great at doing laundry because there is a monger in Snowbank City that would like to hire him for laundry help.

Seriously, explaining things to a person that thinks they can "wear you down" is wasted effort.

You might create and send him a certificate that says he "has graduated from brothel school" and "is now able to deal with ladies on his own out is the world".  He "no longer needs hand holding by Abby".

Don't expect immediate appreciation, but, in the long run, you are doing him a favor by "kicking him out of the nest".

[readytoparty]

It is simple, he likes you.  He wants to marry you, or at least have you in his life from now on.

You haven't done anything wrong.  Your job is to be nice to him, and every other customer that comes along, and the monger reports show you have done just that.

You could tell him that you are glad that he is great at doing laundry because there is a monger in Snowbank City that would like to hire him for laundry help.

Seriously, explaining things to a person that thinks they can "wear you down" is wasted effort.

You might create and send him a certificate that says he "has graduated from brothel school" and "is now able to deal with ladies on his own out is the world".  He "no longer needs hand holding by Abby".

Don't expect immediate appreciation, but, in the long run, you are doing him a favor by "kicking him out of the nest".

I agree, but one would not think that they would have to do this with a man well into his 70's and who has been married and divorced twice!

[Just Another Guy]

I have enjoyed breaking many monger rules and sending gifts to a few ladies.  I won't go so far as to say that I developed serious feelings, but I did develop great friendships.
I was brought back to earth by the ladies.  Regardless of how friendly they are, they are professionals in it for the money. 

Somehow, money came back into focus and each lady that made that the main thing in some way, managed to wake me up a bit more and make me a tad bit more like you stone cold mongers.

[griszi]

I felt withdrawals from Kennedy at Mona's. But it was one of my first parties and it went away when I partied again with someone else.

[MrTShirt]

I agree, but one would not think that they would have to do this with a man well into his 70's and who has been married and divorced twice!

If he has been married and divorced twice in his 70 years, he simply doesn't want to take responsibility for his own actions, and wants to blame others.  I would expect he blames the two previous wives for his problems.  He will blame you when you cut him off.

(He is old enough to know what he is doing.)

A good kick in the butt would be helpful, but, of course you do need to maintain a business like approach.

[ancient mariner]

.........



I agree, but one would not think that they would have to do this with a man well into his 70's and who has been married and divorced twice!

Sounds like he has somehow become socially isolated, despite appearing to be involved in a lot of things. At a guess, I'd say that you being much younger than the women otherwise available, he finds you particularly desirable and has become fixated.

[GracePreston]

Sounds to me like he just enjoys building himself the fantasy of what it would be like to have you in his world.  I know several older gents who are like this-- they are ultimately harmless and deep down they know where the line is... but they still enjoy daydreaming. 

Most guys really know where the line is-- I have men who have been part of my world for over a decade and have cultivated friendships that go beyond what this world involves.  To the point to where when I had a cancer scare a couple years ago-- those same long time friends kept me above water and surviving when I just couldn't work.  I absolutely develop lifelong friends from my work in GFE.

I've only had one gent in the entire time I've worked in the adult industry go truly sideways.  Wrote down my plate number, looked me up, started driving by my home, showing up at real world events, etc.  Scary situation.  The one and only time I had to get a TRO.