For the love of snacks I'm reviewing all my parties which includes several trips to Sheri's so some people may find this useful. If I had a bad party then the names will be omitted because I'm not an asshole (at least not all the time) and it's not fair if the ladies can't tell their site. I won't talk prices except that $3500 for an hour is the highest that a lady has ever said to me and this didn't happen at Sheri's. For negotiations, I only use inappropriate hand gestures. As for extras I have received, that's between me and the ladies, just like most party details. I will say I don't know what I'm doing, I'm just along for the ride.
For the shy people, when my anxiety kicks in I have habits that body language 101 says I'm not interested. It's not goose stepping with my arms straight out and middle fingers extended but it's just as off putting. The ladies haven't punched me in the face yet for being an idiot so everyone else is probably going to be ok.
Sheri's Ranch: Izabella is down to earth and honest. This was the most instructional party I ever had. I don't know what combination of what I said in negotiation, her mood, and planetary alignment made this so exceptional but for a first time it couldn't have gone any better. This was a few years ago and I only saw her once so she most likely doesn't remember me but every time I went back I asked for her.
Sheri's Ranch: At least I learned I don't like short parties.
Sheri's Ranch: I realized I don't like up-sells being brought up constantly. I understand why ladies do it but talking about them during negotiations and then bringing them up during the start, middle, and end of the party is a bit much. Two bad parties in a row, I figured brothels might not be for me. The one bad thing about seeing Izabella first is the bar is set really high.
Sheri's Ranch: I'm a slow learner so this past summer I started visiting brothels again. It was more than a year after the last trip so there are limits to my idiocy. The plan was to do a party a week for 2 months. This is the only time Izabella was there but she was sick. First time I got walked and the lady was not happy, muttering stuff as she led me to the walk room. I meet Athena who is laid back and has a really calm confidence. She says I should tell the ladies about my habits to clear things up. That's been helpful. She told me stuff about Sheri's but I always forgot to confirm with other ladies. She said they can't leave but are allowed out for one 4 hour window a week, they have drawings Tuesday afternoons to see which 5 to 5 shift they have to work, and Tuesdays are kind of chaotic since it's moving day and there are no shifts. If you're like me and prefer planning instead of winging it, then Tuesdays aren't a good day to visit Sheri's.
Sheri's Ranch: I came back next Tuesday. AJ has a relaxed attitude and has a lot of energy. She offered to speak Ukrainian. I should have said yes so I could hear what "you are really quiet" sounds like in another language.
Chicken Ranch: I got carded when I entered which was weird. I'm not naming this lady because she didn't last. I picked her out of her first lineup and her mentor didn't go over everything when I showed up so this party was 2 people figuring shit out on the fly. Saying it was fucking outstanding is an understatement. She's likely gone for good, but if anyone sees an asian with song lyrics tattoo and finds out the name she wanted to use and the name she actually used, let me know and you can have my snacks. Random trivia: she tells me the ladies can't wear just thongs during lineups because they're not allowed to show their bare butts. Paired with a see through nightie that covers half the butt is fine, but no full moons allowed.
Sheri's Ranch: I got stuck in the walk room for an hour while picking up walks #2 and #3. I thought about leaving but wanted to see how this would play out. And finish what was playing o the tv. Spoiler alert: the model did something and ended up hooking up with a guy. Every 10 minutes or so the hostess would come in and say she's looking for a lady to work with my budget. Adi passes by and her first words to me are "you're still here?" and decides to save me from the walk room. She's talkative and friendly. This was the longest negotiation at over 15 minutes but it wasn't difficult, she just has a more elaborate approach. Adi is a lot of fun. My conversations during parties are random nonsense so the topic of man boobs comes up. You know you're fat when a girl wants to lick your titties. Don't say that unless you want to get bit.
Chicken Ranch: Gigi is really friendly. I learn the term "strictly dickly", that at the Chicken Ranch there's a difference between a 2 girl party and a 2 girl show, and that the previous lady left after 4 days. Due to the way I act at brothels, most of my parties take a similar tone. This one started that way but then she became selfish which was a really cool experience. 2 easy negotiations with fantastic parties in 2 visits, I"ll be visiting Chicken Ranch first instead of Sheri's.
Love Ranch North: 3 girl lineup. Picked up walk #4. Desert Rose voodoo'd the shit out of me because getting through introductions to finishing negotiations took about 3 minutes. She's really nice and easy to talk to. My mind doesn't work right all the time so we talked about the logistics of buying and selling a cow. I don't like Star Wars but she showed me something on her phone that made is a lot more interesting.
Love Ranch North: I talked about Ruby Rae before so don't need to go over it again. I think I have an appointment curse. The first time I make an appointment and right before my plane takes off appointment gets pushed back a few hours. I don't find out until I get to the brothel because I didn't check my email that morning. It was a minor inconvenience but had a great party later anyways. That's not a curse, what's the point of mentioning it?
Love Ranch North: Ruby again. The appointment curse decides to up its game and prevents me from making this my first longer party. If you want a longer appointment, say so when you make the appointment, not when you show up.
Sagebrush: I ended up here because of my shorter than expected party. 3 girl lineup. The negotiation felt wrong and the up-sells wouldn't stop. I tell myself I went through it because I wanted to confirm this was a bad idea. That's an expensive way to figure out my gut feeling was right. I'm also blaming the curse for this one because I wouldn't have been here if the longer party happened. And because fuck personal responsibility.
Mustang: My schedule changed so I decided to squeeze in one last party for the summer. Carded by the bartender. What am I doing that I get carded? After coming to an agreement with Dennae I asked about a threesome because what's one more awkward situation after dealing with so many of them. And if I was going to get 2 bad parties in a row again this would at least make it interesting. She handles the last second request without flinching. Her go to friend (something danger?) left the day before so Dennae goes looking around for someone else. Just a tip, if you're in the negotiation room by yourself, then stand up or sit on an armrest unless you want your eyes to be crotch level with someone 2 feet in front of you when people come in. Dennae and Max work great together and the party was hilariously fun. I would have preferred 2 separate parties with each of them because the time went by too quick. After 10 parties in 7 weeks and only one bad party, the summer trip was a success and I decide to keep at it.
Sagebrush: I pulled some shenanigans at work, made an appointment months in advance, and ended up in Reno last week. Third time's the charm, and with this much notice what could go wrong? I check my email before the flight takes off and no status change on the appointment. I think I'm in the clear. Turns out the curse knows how to play the long game. I check my email when I land and find out the appointment get cancelled during the flight. Life happens, I get it. But the curse rubs salt i the wood because originally I was going to fly in on Wednesday. Due to some miscommunication, I changed it to Thursday and didn't switch it back. If I came on Wednesday, I would have been the lucky last client; instead I get to be the first guy to get cut off <insert Nelson's ha ha>. PSA: you shouldn't laugh at other people's expense. Except when it's funny. Like this. Eeny meeny miney moe and I end up back at Sagebrush. 2 girl lineup. Apparently very few ladies are up in the cul-de-sac if you show up before noon. The party was better than the previous lady at Sagebrush (that's not a big accomplishment) however the negotiations were worse. So I'm still a slow learner, further illustrated by the fact I would mess around with appointments again if Ruby comes back. I just need more sacrificial lambs at Sagebrush since I don't want to risk a favorite to this damn curse. The lamb part is a joke: I won't have a problem going back to Sagebrush, especially since I've already paid to figure out 2 ladies I don't want to party with.
This isn't a party but though it was worth mentioning. I got Jade as a recommendation so I ask for her when my anxiety kicks in and I shut down at the bar. I probably sat there longer than my walk room purgatory at Sheri's. This was an unusual negotiation because we agree on a price quickly but can't figure out the time: she's not available until late afternoon and I can't wait around that long. I won't put down a deposit and won't leave any personal info so things don't look like they'll work out. Jade doesn't give up and comes up with a solution, runs it by the cashier and gets the ok. Unfortunately I never got to party with Jade during my trip but hopefully I will in the future. I didn't stick around looking for another party because I didn't want to spend more time in the smoky bar. This curse is kicking my ass but at least I met Jade.
Mustang: I decided to head to Mustang because I figured my schedule was too full the rest of the time to meet with Jade on the other days which turned out to be true (schedule got back loaded for flying in a day later. This fucking curse ran interference the entire trip). I ask for Max. I'm told she just got out of the shower so I wait around for about 10 minutes. She says she remembers me even though it was 5 months ago. I think she just vaguely recognizes me and is being polite. I remember a lot of details and conversations from my parties because these are special occasions and I'm not normal. But she recalls the party, conversations, and inside jokes which is impressive since I only saw her once. Max's bedroom eyes are amazing and the familiarity does add to the experience. And because out of context quotes are amusing to me, she said "where did the cheeseburger go?" during the party and that's not a euphemism, there was no food involved, and we weren't talking about memes or pop culture.
As for how to avoid bad parties, as someone stupid enough to confirm bad feelings twice, you'll know when it feels wrong. You'll never feel 100% comfortable with a new person so you could always walk and therefore will never have a bad party. But if you want to party, then acknowledge the difference between feeling nervous and uneasy. Or you could be an idiot like me.
Now that I have to use my fingers and toes to count the number of parties I've had, I can confidently say I don't know what I'm doing but it's been a lot of fun.
