Author Topic: THE ALIEN CATHOUSE: Copious notes on my recent multiple visits  (Read 38952 times)

Offline Rand McNally

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THE ALIEN CATHOUSE: Copious notes on my recent multiple visits
« on: October 28, 2012, 08:29:10 AM »
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A week ago I was sitting at the Alien Cathouse bar. I’d enjoyed myself so much that I didn’t want to leave, but I’d run out of time, spent my trick roll, and my libido was on empty. Sonja stood behind me massaging my shoulders.
“Here’s your homework,” she whispered in my ear as she kneaded my muscles. “Write a review of what you saw and did here. No BS. I want a Jack Webb review--just the facts.”

THE WEBSITE:
http://www.aliencathouse.net/
Unlike most house websites, the Alien Cathouse updates their website continuously. The lineup is always current, and don’t think that once you’ve seen a particular sweetie’s photos you’ve seen them all—tomorrow there could be a new pic.

HOW TO GET TO LATHROP WELLS:
Drive 85 miles northwest from Las Vegas on US  95. It’s as easy as finding one’s butt with both hands. If one isn’t driving, limo service is available. There is a charge, with a discount if one parties after arrival. Phone the shift manger for details. Anyone capable of doing grade school arithmetic can calculate the cost of transportation from Las Vegas to Nye County and realize such service cannot be free. I commend Hof for not insulting his customers with nonsense about free limo service.

THE PREMISES:
Mr. H definitely pulled the financial stops. Granite bar tops, obsidian toilets, bath tubs fit for aquatic orgies. Hard wood floors. Restrooms with designer fixtures and hand blow driers from the Jet Propulsion Laboratories. Even the courtesy shower for truckers has Jacuzzi outlets. The bar is an alcoholic’s wet dream with all the best hard stuff. A few feet from the front door is Hof’s Rocket Diner. Prices are low; the menu is basic; the advantage is convenience, with quick delivery to the brothel available. I’m told that upgrading the Rocket is on Hof’s list of things to do.

While totally functional, the house is still being upgraded; along with the restaurant makeover, landscaping is being added, and outdoor areas are under construction. The pool table and retro video games had not yet arrived, but were on the way.

THE PEOPLE:
I arrived at the Alien Cathouse filthy from hiking in Death Valley. My friend Madame Sonja wasn’t there; given my unkempt state, I planned on hiding in an inconspicuous corner until she returned. But from the red carpet treatment I received, one would have thought I was Der Hof himself.

“Come in here, baby,” Dallas said after I was buzzed in. Dallas is a veteran sex provider whom I know from several other brothels.”We’ll take care of you. You’re family.”

“Are these enough towels?” Kelly the shift manager asked as she walked me to the trucker’s shower. “Is there anything else you need?” I had to argue with her to keep her from carrying my valise.

It was like a free VIP party with everything but the sex. McNally is the quintessential misanthrope—my favorite quote from Thoreau is: “Shun the reeking herd.” But the gracious ladies and the delightful shift managers Debby, Kelly, and Marilyn melted this misanthropes’ heart.

THE COST OF BLISS:
The opulence made me protectively clutch my wallet. Could McNally, the quintessential cheapskate, afford this place? During multiple visits over a three day period I enjoyed the company of three galactic class courtesans on four separate occasions, including one close encounter of the third kind. Our overall efforts produced a total of at least twelve climaxes—I’ not bragging; mine were in the minority. I had intended to compute a median cost per orgasm, but my data was corrupted by Sonja, who climaxes easily and often. Including tips, gifts, a round of drinks for the house (I made damn sure there were no other customers present for that little bit of madness) an upscale room at nearby Longstreet Station, meals, and gas for the round trip to Nye County, I still spent under $2K. There was no charge for the considerable amount of time I spent hanging out in the public area, which included titillating conversation, exchanging sultry looks, languorous stroking of various body parts, and best of all, shared laughter over lewd double entendres and bawdy jokes.

PARTISAN PLUGS:
PARIS:  When I arrived Paris was in her final hours before taking a break, so she and I remained platonic. The Alien is her first brothel, but I can vouch that her personality is as beautiful as her website photos.
MS. V:  I’ve known this lady (in the Biblical sense) for some time. She’s gorgeous, delightfully crazy, and infectiously funny. A caveat—she claims V is for Veronika, I’m not sure it doesn’t stand for Vampire. V takes being a Lady of the Evening seriously—book a morning party with her at your peril.
SUNSHINE:  A totally charming young lady who is cuter than her photos. She’s only spent a few weeks as a sex worker. After we’d partied, I _almost_ had her convinced that she was supposed to give me half my money back.
http://www.sex-in-nevada.net/lpin/reviews/text/0643.html

THE ALIEN CATHOUSE’S BUSINESS PLAN
Sonja says her business plan is to offer service to all levels of spenders, from pikers such as McNally, to high rollers willing to pay to pull out all the stops. For the latter she has at least one VIP room which eventually will have an outside patio. Sonja told me she handpicks her courtesans, to achieve a mix which will appeal to a variety of tastes. She doesn’t plan on having huge Busby-Berkley lineups; she want so have enough women to accomodate the customers, but few enough that the women are satisfied with their opportunity to earn. Makes sense to me.

For a rural brother, the Alien Cathouse offers an amazing experience—and one I can’t wait to repeat.

Offline Prospector Bob

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Re: THE ALIEN CATHOUSE: Copious notes on my recent multiple visits
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2012, 08:41:33 PM »
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Excellent report Rand!
Political correctness is a doctrine fostered by the delusional illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

Offline Sonja

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Re: THE ALIEN CATHOUSE: Copious notes on my recent multiple visits
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2012, 09:10:54 PM »
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Thanks so much for taking the time to put all your thoughts together and for sharing this.  We enjoyed you as much as you enjoyed us and this just makes the afterglow that much sweeter.

Offline CrockHarker

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Re: THE ALIEN CATHOUSE: Copious notes on my recent multiple visits
« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2012, 02:59:58 PM »
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This is the perfect place to post this - Area 51 Alien Cathouse Virtual Tour



Sorry it has taken so long to get this posted.

Offline Sonja

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Re: THE ALIEN CATHOUSE: Copious notes on my recent multiple visits
« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2012, 08:07:47 PM »
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Wow - We are really feeling the love here! Thanks so much for doing this for us.

XOXOXO's (whilst rolling about naked)

Here's a couple of pictures of the spa room & the beefed up Wet Room...


Offline Gus

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Re: THE ALIEN CATHOUSE: Copious notes on my recent multiple visits
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2012, 08:59:53 PM »
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I stopped in at the AC a few weeks ago on my way north. I was greeted by Latina and Veronica, both of whom had partied with me elsewhere. Latina gave me a tour, and I like McNally was impressed.  Sonja wasn't there, so I just left a note to say Hello.

I was tempted to party, but had an appointment with Sadie at the Shady Lady, so I moved along. AR is a nice house that has great ladies, and the sexiest madame anywhere--I will definitely stop by and party next time.

Gus
The three most important words in life are Yes! Thank you! and Wow!

LadyAries

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Re: THE ALIEN CATHOUSE: Copious notes on my recent multiple visits
« Reply #6 on: November 29, 2012, 12:13:29 AM »
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You should of parties with Latina.. she's hot!

LadyAries

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Re: THE ALIEN CATHOUSE: Copious notes on my recent multiple visits
« Reply #7 on: November 29, 2012, 12:14:34 AM »
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I mean Partied... Im typing in the dark..I wish we could edit.

Offline Sonja

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Re: THE ALIEN CATHOUSE: Copious notes on my recent multiple visits
« Reply #8 on: November 29, 2012, 07:16:02 AM »
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I stopped in at the AC a few weeks ago on my way north. I was greeted by Latina and Veronica, both of whom had partied with me elsewhere. Latina gave me a tour, and I like McNally was impressed.  Sonja wasn't there, so I just left a note to say Hello.

I was tempted to party, but had an appointment with Sadie at the Shady Lady, so I moved along. AR is a nice house that has great ladies, and the sexiest madame anywhere--I will definitely stop by and party next time.

Gus


Looking forward to your return visit!  Let me knw when you're heading this way & I'll be sure to be here! BTW - our hot tub is up and running - perfect timing for the cooler weather.