It's real. Even though we can deduct a lot for being independent contractors we still have to pay. Ladies that are looking to buy a house, car, build up a business need to show that they can pay for it, so deduct too much is not a smart idea. That said, if a lady want to work things out to spend time with you, she will find a way and if you really want to spend time with a particular lady, you may want to come to an agreement with her. Worse case scenario you don't have to go back to her.