Started the drive to Vegas from North Dakota with a vague idea of my general directions, Google Maps as my GPS, and rock blaring from my xm satellite radio in the rental. The ride was every bit of the 18 hours google promised me, and while not under the cover of night I got to see the countryside change from the flat prairie of North Dakota and Eastern Montana, to the forested mountain passes of western montana into Idaho where it flattened back out into rolling hills leading the snow tipped backgrounds of utah. The canyons of Arizona, while beautiful, proved to be difficult to pass due to the road construction slowing traffic to a dead halt at times. Some 20+hours later(factoring in pit stops and delays) I had made it to Vegas. I then proceeded to check into my hotel room for a quick nap so I could tackle the vegas nightlife, maybe catch a show or a nice dinner.
6 am the following morning, I learned the folly of my judgment or lack thereof. You drive anywhere for 20 hrs, your head is not hitting a pillow and asking questions of anyone. It will find the superglue and stick itself there until it is satisfied that it has gotten enough sleep.
So night 1 in Vegas? A bust! And not the fun kind!
Day 2: But I was rested and ready to make the best of the day. A quick shower and grooming later, and I headed out to stroll the strip. My last time here I was attending a conference and had tunnel vision due to the conference functions starting at 8 am and ending at 6 pm. And vegas is impressive, the towering skyscrapers, the massive fountains and the different casino themes jutting out into the strip. The walkovers often flow seamlessly with the ebb and flow of pedestrian traffic. I would say everyone should take a trip to vegas, if for nothing else, to see the architectural feats that mob money built in the desert. After my morning of exploration, i started looking into shows for my evening consumption. I had always enjoyed the illusionist/magician/escape artist Criss Angel's show on TV, and the xBurlesque show caught my eye, so I ordered tickets, grabbed a bite at a greek place a bit out of the way, and before long I was at the luxor resort for the Criss Angel show. Which, while as not as heavy on the magic or illusions as I would have expected proved to be a surprisingly heartwarming and entertaining production.
XBurlesque proved to be a fun tease of a dance routine mixed with a solid tease. The dancers were all incredibly fit, as one would expect as they seemed to sprint through routines very often leaving one dancer to perform a solo routine to keep the crowd's attention as a costume change was performed. For the intermission, comedian Nancy Ryan showed her quick wit and was impressive, although considering that she wasn't a topless dancer, she managed to grab the crowd's attention pretty well. Overall, I think xburlesque is a fun show worth seeing while in Vegas, but a tease is just that. A Tease.
Day 3. Got up and got ready for my day, failing to grab breakfast, as I had a "soft appointment" at Sheri's. It seemed like i timed the drive perfectly to avoid the bulk of the construction on Blue Diamond Road through to Pahrump, and got there even a little early for my appointment. Because the lady in question was retiring and doesn't necessarily want to be remembered for this profession, I'll omit many of the details. She was great, to say the least and made sure my nerves were calm heading into negotiations.
Now I'm no whale. And while I didn't get harpooned, i'm sure a hook or two got a chunk of me. I ended up going a hair over my top budget number, but she also came down and worked with my budget quite a bit. Interesting things I noted during the negotiation as were her personal guidelines. For a non-specialty party, she normally charged no less than 3000 for the hour. And she also alluded to the fact that she has a minimum before intercourse is even considered. Is Sheri's reputation as represented on the board deserved? YMMV! But my negotiations were not as painful as many others have claimed they have experienced.
From Sheri's, I took the recommendation of my courtesan to find a good Thai restaurant in Pahrump. MyThai. Great family owned business, with good food, and the ability to spice your food from 1-10 on a sliding scale. And they spiced mine just right!
From there i took the drive up to Elko. But a 6hr drive meant I'd probably miss the day's festivities. On the way up, rolled through the amargosa valley and saw the alien cathouse, stopped for gas at the alien travel center. Now if Lita Crystalskull still worked there, there might have been a story worth telling, but I continued riding through the desert eventually hitting the towns of Carlin and ultimately Elko at almost 11pm. The hotels were packed as Trump had a rally planned in the morning.
Day 4: Politics aside, I thought it would be cool to see a President of the United States in person, so I went to the rally. Was it packed! Held on the tarmac at the airport, they shut down all traffic surrounding the airport, had shuttle buses, and the line snaked around several times before cresting the hill before the airport. After achieving my goal of seeing a POTUS in person, i calmly walked back to the shuttle buses hoping to avoid the swarm. When I finally got back into town, my first stop was Inez's.
I buzzed the doorbell and walked into an empty bar and asked the hostess, "wasn't there supposed to be an octoberfest here?" I had figured on meeting greeting and socializing with everyone there(although I was late from the rally) and she mentioned that I should check Mona's.
I hit the doorbell at Mona's and was buzzed in to be greeted by Peter. I was then introduced to Shayniac, The Toffeeman, and Jmc1590. I immediately knew I was in good company. And what one does while in good company? Drinks! Now I won't dwell too much on my rookie mistake of drinking a hair too much for the one sandwich I had in me, but while mingling at the bar, Mila, Lucie, and Jessy all introduced themselves to me. And there's a gorgeous trio if you've seen one. Met both bartenders, Mike and I think Veronica? Conversations and laughs were had and before I knew it it was 7 pm. And I had the beginnings of a buzz! While getting advice from jmc1590, the veteran monger, Mila slipped beside me and while not whispering in my ear, softly said something to the effect of "we should party"
-cue musical interlude- or at least that's how it went in my head "Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree"
"Oh really?" I replied quizically. Then hastened my formulation of a plan including getting food in me to sober up, because no one wants to be the drunk-nasty guy that ruins a party. And what a party it was! When I returned stabilized by time and some solid food, Louis went back and got Mila for me.
She looked just stunning. Negotiations were painless, aided by the monger rate. The party started in mona's room with the pole, with some music playing on the jukebox but by the time we were done, I would be hard pressed to keep track of it all. As for the rest of the details, I'll keep them between Mila and myself, but she was a trooper. The party lasted longer than even I had originally planned. I will say this, you can't go wrong taking the time to get to know her: She is sweet, smart, and pure of heart, a refreshing change from many of the people I've met along my path.
I left Mona's that night with a goofy smile on my face, almost wishing I didn't have to leave.
But there'll always be a next time! Special thanks to Louis and the Mona's crew for accommodating a newbie and his antics to their brothel and making me feel welcome and "at home."
